Do you ever feel like nothing is going in the direction you want? I feel like giving up, on everything. I don't mean that in a suicidal way. Just that I don't really feel like putting my time and effort into much anymore. I need a few days alone. I dont even really get why I'm upset. It bothers me that I don't understand my emotions. And if I'm being totally honest its like the more I try to be the "good guy" the more I get stepped on in this world by the very people I give the most to. It makes it so difficult to not explode and lash out at everyone. Maybe its because I don't see the world the way they do... I see a clock counting down no matter how hard I try to avoid the problem. I say it all that time that I want to die... But does that mean I can't be afraid of it still? I mean I accepted it years ago when I found out but I still don't like it. It really sucks I have to write this just to vent. I wish I had someone I could talk to when these thoughts start to drown me..
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